16 September 2016

Dealing with Esteem Demons | Self Confidence

Elizabeth Ilsley
On social media we all look like the Hollywood version of ourselves, or at least we try to. I'm heading to a couple of blogger events next month and something I'm irrationally nervous about is people thinking I look totally different in real life (which of course I look different, can't filter these freckles and stray brow hairs in real life can I?).

Part of me tells myself that this is a vain and irrational worry to have, the insecure part of myself tells me that in real life I'm a lot grosser, that my make-up is going to have come off by the time I reach the venue and that perhaps people won't like me.

I know, there are larger things to be worrying about than what I look like or how others perceive me, but we must all worry about these things to some degree otherwise nobody would make any effort at all.

Which brings me to knowing that I'm not the only person out there who's insecure, a lot of girls and guys have problems within themselves and that although they might not think they look great, they do. So that's something that I and everyone else who feels a little insecure should remember- you're not the only one!

I think vlogging and putting my make-up less face on the internet has helped my confidence a lot because it's me in my most raw form, no filters, no make-up, most likely pre-shower grossness, haha.  I used to be terrified of putting myself online without looking my best (once it's there, it's there forever) but that degree of honesty and being able to rewatch it, realising I don't look as horrific as I thought helps a lot!

It really is a 'first world problem' of worrying what you look like and how others perceive you, and I feel confident enough that someone else's opinion of me would never change my opinion of myself. There's just a little more self-acceptance to be had.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to not compare yourself to others. Remember that social media really is the highlight reel of people's lives (and selfies), that filters DO exist and almost everyone is using them! 

Take social media with a pinch of salt.

I know full well that I look terrible at the start of a lot of my vlogs but that's something I'm learning to care less about and be less afraid of with time.


For me, my tattoos are something I have that makes me accept myself- since having overcome body struggles it's not a way for me to cover up my skin but to embrace it and really love the body that I've been given. We all love ourselves in different ways!

As you start to accept yourself for who you are, with and without enhancements, you become more content and comfortable within yourself. There are so many ways you can love yourself completely and know that it takes time.

Slowly but surely I'm working on getting rid of this nasty little esteem-demon and know that one day I will be able to show up to an event or even just morning university lectures with barely a scrap of make-up on and feel GREAT. Until then I can only try to be more honest with myself little by little (not that I don't ever look cute but that I only look cute sometimes). ;) 

In lieu of that, what is your favourite thing about yourself?
Leave me a comment! 
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P.S: If you see me at these events in October please come hang! If you're anxious or nervous too just know that you're not the only one. Let's be worried together hahaha.

I can't wait to meet the faces I've been speaking to for the last few months in real life! You all seem like incredible, interesting and kind human beings. We all need a few more of those in our lives. 


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